The MRI showed a herniated disc in my neck. I was told to stop sports/weights/running for 6 weeks as I undergo physical therapy. I started the therapy 3 days ago.
You know what sucks? I went to the gym just now. Yeah, yeah...I'm not supposed to, but I am so f'ing pissed off I can't stand it. I'm constantly in pain...I'm more and more tired every day from inactivity...
I laid on the bench press tonight to warm up with the bar (45 lbs) and I couldn't get my right arm to push upward. My muscles aren't getting the signals from my brain because the nerves are pinched. It took all I had to put the bar back on the rack. I went from 200 lbs on the bench press five weeks ago to less than 45 lbs today.
Five weeks ago I was in the best shape of my life. Since then, I've lost 8 lbs, my muscles have atrophied, and I've got a gut, now. This will look just great for a calendar. I don't even want to go to the photo shoot, now.
Cancer? Hell, that was nothing.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
If it's not one thing...
On Saturday, April 4th, I woke up early to go run with my cancer group. I could not move my neck at all. The night before I didn't even exercise. I called my running coach and said I couldn't make it to the run (or to the next room in the house, for that matter.) I kinda worked out the kinks and got enough motion to function. But it hurt like heck. For the next several days, it was much of the same. I had to resort to taking narcotics (left over from my cancer surgeries) to sleep at night.
Finally, I went to an orthopedic surgeon. She prescribed steroids and muscle relaxants. That led to me feeling sick the whole week. Weird...I can put chemo drugs in me and I don't feel as bad as I did on steroids. I wasn't certain what the drugs were supposed to be doing, but they did take away the pain. That was because my entire right arm/hand was now numb. That was fun. "Pins and needles" in my fingers.
Wednesday of that week was my first softball game of the season. I had thought about this game all winter long. Every time I dragged my tired self out of the house to get to the gym, it was because of returning to playing softball and being better than ever. The schedule was announced and this first game was against our rival, Penn State. So, what happened at the game? Was I better than ever? Well...
My first practice pitch literally went 20 feet to the right. What the? The next was just as bad. I couldn't control my arm. During the hour before the game, I re-learned how to pitch with my new muscle memory. Ugh. Surprisingly, I didn't walk any batters during the game. However, I did throw some meatballs I ordinarily would not have thrown. It was upsetting. At the plate, I moved back up to batting 2nd in the lineup because I was now "better." The first pitch...swing and a miss! Again...what the?? I couldn't remember swinging and missing in a decade or so. I could not make my arm go where I wanted it to go. Talk about a strange feeling. I now was a nonathletic person with no eye/hand coordination. Not the result I was looking for by going to the gym all the time!
It gets worse. A ball came back to me and I went to catch it with my bare hand. My one finger went it's own way and wham...I jammed it. The entire finger is still purple. But, don't worrry...it doesn't hurt thanks to the numb arm! Later, I wanted to clap for a teammate and I missed my hands! Who does that? I tried a sobriety test and couldn't touch my nose. I was a mess.
So, here we are. Tomorrow I have an MRI on my neck to see what the discs are doing. It could mean surgery. Greaaaaaat. Another surgery. I thought I was done. I do not want to miss another entire softball season. :-(
Finally, I went to an orthopedic surgeon. She prescribed steroids and muscle relaxants. That led to me feeling sick the whole week. Weird...I can put chemo drugs in me and I don't feel as bad as I did on steroids. I wasn't certain what the drugs were supposed to be doing, but they did take away the pain. That was because my entire right arm/hand was now numb. That was fun. "Pins and needles" in my fingers.
Wednesday of that week was my first softball game of the season. I had thought about this game all winter long. Every time I dragged my tired self out of the house to get to the gym, it was because of returning to playing softball and being better than ever. The schedule was announced and this first game was against our rival, Penn State. So, what happened at the game? Was I better than ever? Well...
My first practice pitch literally went 20 feet to the right. What the? The next was just as bad. I couldn't control my arm. During the hour before the game, I re-learned how to pitch with my new muscle memory. Ugh. Surprisingly, I didn't walk any batters during the game. However, I did throw some meatballs I ordinarily would not have thrown. It was upsetting. At the plate, I moved back up to batting 2nd in the lineup because I was now "better." The first pitch...swing and a miss! Again...what the?? I couldn't remember swinging and missing in a decade or so. I could not make my arm go where I wanted it to go. Talk about a strange feeling. I now was a nonathletic person with no eye/hand coordination. Not the result I was looking for by going to the gym all the time!
It gets worse. A ball came back to me and I went to catch it with my bare hand. My one finger went it's own way and wham...I jammed it. The entire finger is still purple. But, don't worrry...it doesn't hurt thanks to the numb arm! Later, I wanted to clap for a teammate and I missed my hands! Who does that? I tried a sobriety test and couldn't touch my nose. I was a mess.
So, here we are. Tomorrow I have an MRI on my neck to see what the discs are doing. It could mean surgery. Greaaaaaat. Another surgery. I thought I was done. I do not want to miss another entire softball season. :-(
Busy, busy bee...
Well, I'm in my fourth week of working full-time. Sorry, i haven't updated the blog recently, but working full-time takes up so much time. Last year, all I had to worry about was taking my pills before I got the urge to vomit or making it to the sink when I didn't get the pills in time. Now, there is a need to set aside time for grocery shopping, laundry, etc. It's tough to fit it all in! I haven't been too tired at work. Naps are a thing of the past (except on weekends!)
Since I returned to full-time, I ended my leave donation program at work. It is good to be back, but I still have doctor appointments to get to. So, I end up taking leave without pay. That's not great, but what can you do? To make matters worse, check out my next blog!
Since I returned to full-time, I ended my leave donation program at work. It is good to be back, but I still have doctor appointments to get to. So, I end up taking leave without pay. That's not great, but what can you do? To make matters worse, check out my next blog!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Scope it Out 5K -- part deux
Last year at this time, I was on full-blown chemo, low in weight/strength, and pretty much bald. So, running in the Scope it Out 5K was not really an option -- due to the factors other than baldness. I walked the entire thing in about an hour...strolling along the water, listening to the birds chirping. Who am I kidding? The birds were all dead because it was so cold that morning!
This year, I was now on "chemo-lite" pills, almost back to normal weight, as strong as ever in my life...and full of hair (like Austen Powers). Running was now an option, but just how far I didn't know. I started off pretty well. Everyone was in my way, so instead of weaving and making it 3.2 miles vice 3.1, I jumped to the sidewalk and ran there. If any security people would have told me to get back on the road, I was totally prepared to pull the cancer/chemo card (still in my wallet in the car, but they didn't know that.) Eventually, the log-jam cleared and I went back to the streets. At about mile one, Jess caught up to me (I was slowing) and we did about a 1/3rd of a mile together, but I had to stop and walk a little.
After that, I walked for a block and ran for a couple of blocks for the rest of the race. Around mile 2, a fan was cheering who was wearing a pitt jacket. I yelled, "go pitt" and he smiled (even though Pitt had lost the night before on a last second shot. Ugh.) I kept going. While I approached five blocks to go, I was thinking, "do I run one more, walk one, and then run three? Or run two, walk one, run 2?" Just then I heard my name called. I looked back and Erin was catching me. I didn't even know she was in the race. She caught up and I told her to keep talking, but I wasn't going to talk. She kept me running the next four blocks without walking. With one to go, I said "come on." She knew what I meant and we sprinted the last block (or what felt like a sprint to me). I finished at 33:02. After I stopped, my legs were so limp that I had to hold on to people. Plus, blisters on both feet after mile 2. Ugh.
During this race I still didn't hear any birds. Must have been my gasping for air that was blocking out the chirps.
This year, I was now on "chemo-lite" pills, almost back to normal weight, as strong as ever in my life...and full of hair (like Austen Powers). Running was now an option, but just how far I didn't know. I started off pretty well. Everyone was in my way, so instead of weaving and making it 3.2 miles vice 3.1, I jumped to the sidewalk and ran there. If any security people would have told me to get back on the road, I was totally prepared to pull the cancer/chemo card (still in my wallet in the car, but they didn't know that.) Eventually, the log-jam cleared and I went back to the streets. At about mile one, Jess caught up to me (I was slowing) and we did about a 1/3rd of a mile together, but I had to stop and walk a little.
After that, I walked for a block and ran for a couple of blocks for the rest of the race. Around mile 2, a fan was cheering who was wearing a pitt jacket. I yelled, "go pitt" and he smiled (even though Pitt had lost the night before on a last second shot. Ugh.) I kept going. While I approached five blocks to go, I was thinking, "do I run one more, walk one, and then run three? Or run two, walk one, run 2?" Just then I heard my name called. I looked back and Erin was catching me. I didn't even know she was in the race. She caught up and I told her to keep talking, but I wasn't going to talk. She kept me running the next four blocks without walking. With one to go, I said "come on." She knew what I meant and we sprinted the last block (or what felt like a sprint to me). I finished at 33:02. After I stopped, my legs were so limp that I had to hold on to people. Plus, blisters on both feet after mile 2. Ugh.
During this race I still didn't hear any birds. Must have been my gasping for air that was blocking out the chirps.
Monday, March 23, 2009
"Nope, nada, zilch..."
I had a routine office visit with my oncologist last week. "Nope, nada, and zilch" were my responses to his questions of "any pain?" "any side-effects from the chemo pills?" "any problems at all?"
You simply can't imagine how nice it is to be able to give those answers. :'-)
You simply can't imagine how nice it is to be able to give those answers. :'-)
Monday, March 9, 2009
Workin' 9 to 5...
Well, more like 10:15am to 6:15pm (I like to sleep in.) But EIGHT hours is my longest day in 14 months!
I followed it with a mile on the treadmill and some weight-lifting. Man, am I pooped!
I followed it with a mile on the treadmill and some weight-lifting. Man, am I pooped!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Updates all around...put it on my tab!
Well, last week was the first week of my "chemo-lite" pills. I took them for seven days and had seven days off. Tomorrow I start back on them for a week again. I didn't feel any side effects. No fevers, no mouth sores, no nausea, no runs, nothing!
I had my blood tests today and that didn't show any side-effects from the pills, either. In fact, my platelet count increased from 122,000 to 134,000. 150K is where I want to be. It just takes a while to come back after all the full chemo treatments I had.
Also, I tipped the scales at over 145 lbs today at the hospital! That's a gain of almost 4 lbs in two weeks!
At the gym, I am consistantly running an 8:40 mile. Not where I want to be, but getting more energy. I'm working out on the bench press with 185 lbs. Not back to where I was, but inching closer. Besides I don't weigh enough to lift too much right now!
So everything is looking good!
I'm sure I'll post a blog after my trip to NYC next week for the Big East Tournament!
I had my blood tests today and that didn't show any side-effects from the pills, either. In fact, my platelet count increased from 122,000 to 134,000. 150K is where I want to be. It just takes a while to come back after all the full chemo treatments I had.
Also, I tipped the scales at over 145 lbs today at the hospital! That's a gain of almost 4 lbs in two weeks!
At the gym, I am consistantly running an 8:40 mile. Not where I want to be, but getting more energy. I'm working out on the bench press with 185 lbs. Not back to where I was, but inching closer. Besides I don't weigh enough to lift too much right now!
So everything is looking good!
I'm sure I'll post a blog after my trip to NYC next week for the Big East Tournament!
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