Monday, June 8, 2009

Colondar -- Day 1

This is a weird blog for me. Normally, I'm writing about my experiences with cancer. This blog will deal with experiences involving many cancer survivors -- some of whom may be reading this post. I debated using names, but if these lovable guys and gals are willing to "strip" for the Colondar photo shoot, what the heck would using their name in my tiny blog matter? Now that that's settled, away we go...

On Thursday morning I flew from DC to Albany, NY. I got a phone call while I was at baggage claim. It was one of the other models, David. As I tried to ask where he was, I was distracted by some arm-flailing by some dude 25 feet away. Yeah, I was slow...that was him. Next to arrive was Trish. As the three of us chatted while waiting for "some girl in a blue Dodge" to pick us up, David and Trish mentioned their children. Then Trish mentioned her grand kids. (What? Okay, wait for the Colondar and you tell me if she's grandma-ish!")

The blue Dodge pulled up and Krista greeted us with hugs. (Little did I know that she was just warming up her "touching skills" for the weekend.) The car ride to Lake George was about two hours from Albany. Along the way, we exchanged poop stories left and right. The one conversation that stuck out to me was David talking about "Helping Hits" http://www.helpinghits.org/ David had started a foundation for his friend, also named David, who passed away from colon cancer. (Davidsfight.org) "Helping Hits" is a fundraiser where one guy has volunteered to hit 5000 softballs within 24 hours. Now, he was talking my language! (Not that poop isn't my language -- I'm bilingual) That sounded so cool...I loved the idea.

There were two near accidents during the rest of the road trip. We were driving behind an 18-wheeler and it stopped suddenly. We had to stop quickly and Krista pulled onto the shoulder because another truck was right behind us, ready to sandwich us. That would be nice...we all survive cancer only to be in an accident at a celebration for cancer survival. (We would have been the *butt* of many jokes. "Rectum? Damn near killed him," comes to mind.) The second near "car accident" was when David said he needed to pee, but we never bothered to stop because we were busy chatting. (Hey, if he can tolerate chemo, he can tolerate a full bladder.) He was growing more and more uncomfortable by the second. Finally, he couldn't take it any more and we let him go into the woods. (Nothing like urinating in front of strangers to break the ice. I'm going to try it at my next singles' event.)

We arrived at the house and were greeted by some of the crew. Two of the founders of the Colondar, Molly and Hannah, were waiting with hugs. I was the last one to exit the minivan and the first thing I heard was "what the hell?" (And by "hell," I mean "f***".) "Odd greeting," I thought to myself...until I remembered I was wearing my neck brace during the car ride because of my surgery the previous week. Oops. "No, no...it's okay," I explained as I removed it to reveal a much smaller bandage on my neck. I didn't mean to scare anyone into thinking I'd look like a freak for photos. (I still might, but at least not for that reason.)

I was actually there -- at the Colondar shoot. It was a goal I set within weeks of going on chemo. (And as you know, I'm not happy unless I reach my goals.) I got a little choked up. (I swear that is the only time all weekend that will happen. Believe me?)

They showed us around the ranch...the chow hall...the photography studio...etc. I wasn't too hungry, so I went out to the photo studio (actually the garage) as they were shooting Lori. You know how the camera adds 10 lbs? Well, that is if you are looking through the camera. I found out that if you stand behind the photographer and look at the subject (in this case, Lori) with your own eyes, it adds about 6 inches. I could have sworn she looked 6 feet tall. Maybe it was my narcotics because she's not a big girl in any sense of the word. (No point to that little story, other than my brain wasn't working...both then and now, I guess). When Lori finished, I chatted a little. She is from Arkansas and (as she puts it) doesn't have an "ack-saint."

On the other side of the studio...errr...garage was where the magic happened. The computer and media drives were all hooked up. Troy and Simon were busy editing the photos from the first shoot earlier that day. Holy crap! I was both comfortable and uncomfortable seeing the photo of Jill. I was comfortable because I now realized I didn't have to take good photos of myself. No one will even see my photo. All the buyers of the Colondar will simply keep it on Jill's month all year long. I was uncomfortable because suddenly my pants were a little too tight. (Oops...I think Lori has rubbed off on me! :-P )

I was summoned by Molly to "wardrobe." They wanted me to put on my outfit for tomorrow's shoot to see how everything looked. I went upstairs to the makeup/hairstyling room. Someone was using the room next door to change, so I could wait or "just take your pants off here." "I do that as my part-time job," I replied. (I'm an actor, people. We change in the same room. What were you thinking I meant?) I put the clothes on and we went back to the studio to show the photographer, Mark. Mark's recommendations were to not iron my shirt (So just like normal for me.) and wear the same underwear tomorrow for the shoot (it's not disgusting...it's art!) He wanted the same underwear because the jeans were low-rise and the waistband of the underwear read "Luck of the Irish." It was appropriate...I felt very lucky to be there.

After changing back to my regular dress, I mingled with all the people who were there and the ones who were still arriving. The dining room had a long table that was constantly covered with every type of food imaginable by Todd and his wife, Tammy. The back deck was littered with coolers of drinks. Beer, wine and tequila was always readily available. (I stuck mostly to my Oxycontin pills instead.) Once everyone arrived, we found ourselves in the "family room" playing card games and Taboo. Even though most of us arrived that day, it sure didn't seem like we just met. The awkwardness of meeting new people was not in the atmosphere. There was just a connection to everyone that I can't explain and if someone could explain it to me, I'd love to hear it. I can't put it into words.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Zzzzzzzzzzz...

I'm doing what I do after all my surgeries. Sleep. I figure the more I sleep, the more my body doesn't require any energy and it can all go towards healing me. Also, I get bored to death and I only want to be put in a coma and wake up when I'm fine. If I can't be out exercising, what's the point of anything? :-)

I'm a little sore in my neck, but not too bad. The part that is bumming me out is that I have a big patch over my neck. Normally, it would not be a problem whatsoever. However, in 6 days I get my photos taken for my Colondar calendar. So, instead of looking good for that photo shoot, wasn't able to workout for the past 8 weeks. My muscles deteriorated on my right side to be visibly smaller than on the left. This was due to the brain impulses not getting to the muscles at all. It was like they had died. So, no muscles and a big patch on my neck. Won't I look adorable? :-(

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Easiest surgery yet...

Yesterday I had my herniated disc in my neck repaired. It was a lot less painful than Lasik for me. (Lasik felt like sand and shampoo was in my eye for a couple of days.) I woke up from surgery and was hooked to pain meds via I.V. I could press the button every ten minutes if I wanted to. I didn't need to. I only pressed it when I was going to sleep and that was only because they scared me by saying, "don't let your pain develop because it's hard to bring back down again." So what happened when I pressed the button? (Either I launched a nuclear missile, opened someone's garage door, or became itchy on every square inch of my body. You guess.)

I had to be given Benadryl (sp?) for the itchiness. Then that made me so groggy. Had I just layed there with no meds I would have been fine. But I had to take meds for the sole reason of repairing the damage from the meds I didn't really need! Ugh.

I'm home now. I'm not suppose to talk for a couple of days. Follow up visit is 9 June. I have to get an x-ray on 8 June. Then back to I.V. for cancer prevention on 10 June. (Admit it, you wish you could have my life!)

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Joke time...

"Why haven't you called me?" I said, "I can't call everyone I want. My new phone has no five on it." He said, "How long have you had it?" I said, "I don't know...my calendar has no sevens on it." -- Steven Wright

I got a call from my surgeon's office today. "We've hit a snag. We can't do the surgery on Monday because that's a holiday." (That's probably why I asked last week, "do you do surgeries on holidays?" when you replied "yes.") She continued, "so we can either do it tomorrow or Wednesday the 27th." (Well, given that I already postponed tomorrow's scheduled surgery because my oncologist said it was too soon after my cancer treatment, so I'm going to say no to tomorrow again.)

Okay, so it's now on Wednesday the 27th. "By the way, were my blood counts okay for surgery?" "Oh, I haven't given the results to the doctor yet." "Oh, so all this could change again." (How about if once you see my obituary, you make the appointment for the next day?)

Saturday, May 16, 2009

First it's a pain in the butt...

...now's it's a pain in the neck. What could possibly be next?

So, the latest on my herniated disc neck surgery is that I am scheduled for 25 May. Yep, that is Memorial Day. I spent last year's 4th of July in the hospital for surgery and my birthday last year also in the hospital for surgery. So, I have a good, proven track record with holidays.

The only thing that could prevent this surgery date is my bloodwork. I will have labs drawn on Monday and let's hope I'm given the go-ahead. I need to get back to swinging! (That's a softball bat, not exchanging wives for the evening.)

Monday, May 11, 2009

History of the Colondar...

As you probably know from following my blog, I'm going to be in a calendar for colon cancer suvivors for 2010. The photo shoot is in June. Take a look at the history which is now on Youtube:

Part One: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EiSCszlVbgs
Part Two: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bsNu3W4Ob0
Part Three: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2TUhJEmk_k
Part Four: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjuMI8vtfVE

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Why me??

You know, throughout my entire year of surgeries and chemo, I never once asked, "why me?" So, now that my herniated disc has become more painful than anything in my life, I'm going to ask. WHY ME??? What did I do?

My physical therapy was helping slightly over the two weeks since I started. But then a few days ago, I woke up and I was worse than ever before. Time to see the neuro surgeon. He looked at my MRI and said, "do you have pain here, here, and here?" Yep, those were the spots. So, I knew he knew what he was talking about. He tested my arm strength and I had none in my right tricep. So, he knew it was time for surgery. Sadly, he's booked until 20 May. Ugh.

I was supposed to leave for Europe on the 18th to celebrate the end of chemo. That's out the window. Does anyone know if I can get any of my money back from Travelocity for hotels and flights?

Oh, yeah...btw. The reason I started this blog... I have a CAT scan for cancer tomorrow. I almost forgot that cancer is my main issue!