'Twas the night before chemo...

'Twas the night before chemo, and all through each cell
Hopefully no cancer was stirring, it's hard to tell;

The IVs were hung by the hospital bed with care,
In hopes that Shawn soon would be there;

The other patients were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of nausea danced in their heads;

And my nurse in her scrubs, and I with my catheter port,
Would soon settle me in, but this ain’t no resort.

The next day in the ward there arose a fullness in my bladder,
I sprang from the bed to take care of the matter.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a lunch cart with crappy food, oh dear.

With a little hospital helper, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment that food would make me sick.

More rapid than eagles the side-effects they came,
The nurse whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, hot sweats! now, cold sweats! now, hiccups and pain!
Oh, diarrhea ! oh vomitting! oh, numbness and and losing your mane!

As I laid in bed and was turning around
Down the hall Dr. Oncologist came with a bound

Bundles of prescriptions he had in his fists,
I can deal with the chemo just keep away the cysts.

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled out all the charts; then turned with a jerk,

But I heard him exclaim, ere he walked out of sight,
"Happy Chemo to all, and to all a good-night."