This past Tuesday was the first day I can remember in 14 months where I didn't cry at all. Wow, that sounds amazing. Crying every day for 14 months! Who does that? People on chemo.
The first couple of months, they were sad tears dealing with the unknown. Then the tears turned to hopeful. Later, they turned to happy. And the drugs didn't help. I would cry walking to the mailbox. Just happy that I could make that walk and was still here.
When you go through something like this, it consumes your every thought. Now that I'm back at work, my mind is occupied with other things. I think that is why I skipped my crying on Tuesday. I just didn't think about it at all.
I guess that's a sign of becoming normal again. I realize there will be more tears coming. I can think of two occasions: my party next week and the first time I take the mound for softball this spring. I'll probably leave a mud puddle on the softball field. :-)